May’s Journey with Mental Health
We interviewed May – an accountant who immigrated from Guangzhou, China to Brooklyn, New York in 1997. As a daughter, mother, and wife, May’s view on mental health has changed over the years. It wasn’t until one of her highly successful friends with a great family and meaningful career shared that he was going through some mental health struggles and getting help that she realized taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.
Read her full story below.
Taking care of your wellbeing
I first heard about mental health when my daughter was a teenager - so almost 10 years ago! During that time, my daughter and I fought all the time. She didn’t listen to me and often shut me out of her life. It was very hard as her mother. One year, during one of my daughter’s annual check-up appointments, her doctor suggested that I take her to see a social worker. I was shocked. I didn’t understand what was going on with my daughter, but I ended up taking her suggestion. I really don’t know if those sessions with the social worker helped my daughter. Thinking back now, however, maybe there were certain things that I just couldn’t help my daughter on and she needed a professional.
My thoughts on mental health has evolved over the years. I’ve gone through a lot of ups and down in my life - as a daughter, wife, and mother. I do think it is important to have a clear and stable mindset, so taking care of one’s mental health is something each person should be mindful of. If people chose to seek professional help, I think it’s a step in the right direction especially if a person has any sort of mental roadblocks they want to get through.
Journey to the Big Apple
I was born in 1968, and I came to America when I was about 30 years old - in 1998. Honestly, I don’t really remember why I came to America anymore. I guess there was no real reason; curiosity, maybe? My sister told me to come. I guess you can say I wanted to see what all the excitement was about. Maybe, along the way give my daughter more opportunities - a better life you can say.
My first memory in America was probably seeing a children’s playground. I was walking with my daughter in Brooklyn and noticed how the children’s park was surrounded by fences - there were even tiles on the playground floor. I didn’t know such a thing existed! I immediately thought “wow, America cares about children”
Overall, my experience in America has been positive. I would say there were more opportunities open to me than I would have imagine. I worked hard, studied hard, took on jobs that forced me to learn things, and got to the point where it felt like I achieved that “American Dream”.
Thinking back now, however, maybe there were certain things I just couldn’t help my daughter on and she needed a professional.
I would say that my perspective on mental health has changed. Like many people, I guess you could say I didn’t believe in it. If there were problems - internal, mental things - we didn’t speak about them. People I knew who sought mental health care did so because they were facing very severe conditions. It wasn’t until my close friend brought up that he was seeing a therapist that my thoughts on mental health care changed. My friend who I saw as highly successful - had a tight-knit family and a meaningful career - shared with me that he felt stuck sometimes. He disclosed to me that he was talking to a coach to talk through certain things. He shared with me that mental health is just another facet of life to be constantly check-in on - just like our physical health. If someone goes to see a doctor about their mental health, they are just taking care of themselves. Shortly after the conversation with my friend, my niece actually opened up to me and shared her issue with anger management. Her doctor recommended her a therapist. I immediately noticed her changes after she completed each care session. It was relieving to see how she was able to grow from therapy. For the first time in a long time, I saw her happier and brighter. By witnessing such transformative change in my close family and friend’s lives really shifted my entire perspective on the stigma attached to mental health care.
I’ve come to realize now that the mind is really just a part of myself and has just as much of a priority as my physical body does on my overall well being. You should make sure you’re in a healthy place in all aspects; when you have a physical ailment you go see a doctor, and it’s the same with mental health. Like a brain check-in. Even nowadays at the doctors’ office, they give you a mental health assessment form during your check-ups--we aren’t crazy or anything like that, but it’s good to talk about some of the heavier things on our minds every so often.
Mental health for first generation Asian Americans
The lives of our generation tend to be busy, everyone’s still in the mindset that we need to be working to make money, everything comes down to making money with little to no time for anything else. But if I would still recommend that they participate in more group activities--go to a community center, or just to the park and meet up with others. I think it’s hard for anyone to speak up about their feelings, but just doing something that’s isn’t work related and building relationships with someone that could potentially be a friend is a start. Also informing them mental health doesn’t equal crazy or ill, and normalize talking to someone as something as common as drinking tea for “yeet hay.”